Alfie may have just ruined a potential new relationship. Deb has new neighbors, they’re a cool, retired couple who just moved into the area and they invited Deb and San Antonio Guy over for dinner on Monday. Deb was especially looking forward to cool neighbors and a proper home cooked meal. They even have a cat who loves George! Deb just initially bought George along, but after they asked for Alfie, she brought him over and he welcomed them by peeing on their floor. That was strike one for little Alfie.
After dinner, Deb and San Antonio Guy were enjoying dessert and some avocado talk. Then, Deb smelt an odor she knew wasn’t just an Alfie fart. That was strike two. After looking for the droppings, not only did Deb find that Alfie indeed did poop, but the master of the house stepped in it and tracked it over the house. All Deb wanted to do was to get in good with her new neighbors, and now a sorry basket is definitely coming their way.
How can you even be mad at all of this cuteness?
DEB’S DIARY
Talking about stuff that’s going on in Deb’s hood, everyone keep your fingers and eyes crossed because she really wants her cabinets to be delivered today. They were supposed to be delivered yesterday, Deb even had the day Monday, March 25th engraved in her brain. Plus, they’re the next step before the stone, plumbing, fridge and walla, the kitchen remodel is all done. If everything lines up, the renovation could be complete within about a week, so as Deb so desperately waits for the cabinets to come in, please send her some luck!
JASON’S TWITTER-AVERSARY
Big news! Today is Jason’s ten year Twitter anniversary. The Dickman has officially been tweeting for a decade. Without @jasondick101x, the world wouldn’t have been exposed to such compelling thoughts and commentary.
For example…
Remember the good old days of Twitter when you could stalk a girls pics just by clicking the media tab? Now it’s all memes/gifs and you gotta hope she is findable on instagram.
— Jason Dick (@jasondick101x) March 14, 2019
I LOVE YOU CALL
Today we called Noble Baskets in Boca Raton, FL to see if Deb could get them to say I Love You Too. After Alfie’s little incident with the new neighbors, Deb asked about the perfect “I’m sorry my dog pooped on your floor and your husband tracked it all over the house” basket, and Noble Baskets had the perfect recommendations. Even after discussing a sweet and savory basket combo with Deb, Noble Baskets was just sour and Deb got butt-slammed.
GAMES
Are You Smarter Than Jason Dick- Listen to today’s famous authors and their pen names trivia on the 6AM podcast.
You AutoComplete Me- Play along and listen to today’s Google Game on the 8AM podcast.
Does Deb Know Stuff- Listen to today’s famous people named Rice trivia on the 9AM podcast.
NEWS
The twins who played Ross and Rachel’s daughter on the sitcom ‘Friends’ as infants, star in new thriller “Us”.
The Texas based Company, Viagen Pets, will clone your pet for fifty-thousand dollars.
Rapper Cardi B admits that she used to “drug and rob men” who tried to pay her for sex.
SPORTS
Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears are scheduled to open the 2019 NFL regular season at Soldier Field.
President Trump welcomes the Capitals, and encourages them toward a second Stanley Cup.
Rob Gronkowski’s agent confirms his retirement, but leaves door open for a possible return.
Ex-UFC champion Conor McGregor announces his retirement yet again.
Hey guys quick announcement, I’ve decided to retire from the sport formally known as “Mixed Martial Art” today.
I wish all my old colleagues well going forward in competition.
I now join my former partners on this venture, already in retirement.
Proper Pina Coladas on me fellas!— Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) March 26, 2019
Tony Romo is reportedly negotiating a ten million dollar a year contract to stay at CBS.
Rapper Eminem wants fighting to be allowed in the AAF, and Memphis Express quarterback Johnny Manziel agrees.
I got you
