21 Ways to Get CJ Morgan Back On Top of the Radio Game

cj morgan

Like a batter mid season, I am in a hitting slump. Thankfully I am surround by creative people with great ideas. Tomorrow I go in to meet with the corporate bigwigs and they are going to want ideas. How do I get back on top of the radio? Here are a few I thought of (feel free to share yours).

  1. Instacart but a bunch – I mean a lot – of imitation crab meat and have it delivered to a bowling alley every Wednesday
  2. Hire a sky writer to draw lewd but artistic nudes of myself
  3. Buy everyone really tall hats
  4. Hold a PB&J social to inspire nostalgia
  5. Vaguely threaten a senator or two
  6. Go to Walmart, Best Buy, and other stores then put all the radio presets on 101x
  7. Have a short hat under our really tall hats
  8. I was going to suggest building a giant device to block out the sun in our town and make people pay for the light but then I remembered Mr. Burns tried to do that on the Simpsons and it didn’t work out so well
  9. Unnecessary prolonged eye contact
  10. Make friends
  11. Turn listening into a multi level marketing opportunity
  12. Pay panhandlers to hand out cold, wet hotdogs at rival’s events
  13. A tiny hat underneath our short hat if the original hat under hat bit doesn’t land
  14. Get back that station the Hungarian government seized from us years ago
  15. Call mom (this is a personal reminder not necessarily a suggestion)
  16. Sell some merch
  17. The space snake has begun to feast on the sky! You will all awake to a new dawn. The old gods have been eaten and their placental blood shall reign down a new birth of man.
  18. Hire lobbyists and petition the government to put in protections for our industry and rebranded as “clean radio” although there is no such thing

CJ Morgan and Friends Doing Dumb CJ Stuff

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